I coach expats in their journey towards a fulfilled life abroad by connecting them to their values, dreams, inner self and higher power.
Niching Contest Participant Comments:
I like the ‘”adjust to new cultures” part.
5/10: I am not sure what you do. I get the “expats” and “fulfilled life abroad” part, but I do not follow from there.
The first part, “I coach expats in their journey towards a fulfilled life”, has a straight forward, clear audience, but I get a bit lost in the values, dreams, inner self, and higher power part.
10/10: I understood the first one, having been an expat and spent much of my life in other parts of the world. I do agree that the second version about cultures improves it, but that’s actually a different aspect than their inner journey, which is what you were aiming at, if I’m not mistaken. So “Inner Journey/Outer Journey” might be a phrase that works for you somewhere on your website.
6/10: I agree with the comments below, and also wonder what kinds of specific help you offer. For example, would you help with adjusting to the cultural shift? Meeting their personal goals in an unknown place, without the same support they have at home? Navigating new systems? Dealing with the emotional and spiritual impacts of voluntary displacement? I think it’s a great start, but it is just not clear yet.
6/10: I read the revised version. The thing that I wonder about the most is what seems like a big difference between “adjusting to new cultures” AND “connecting to [my] values, dreams and inner self”. Just where is it that those two things align? What do they have in common? What do you really do for people? And how would I know if my friend was having the sort of problem you could help them with? Expats are a clear group of people, but I’m unclear on the problem and proposed solution.
“Expats” and “life” should agree grammatically. “Lives” would be more consistent.
6/10: From my perspective, expats have a pretty good sense of their values and dreams if they’ve made a choice to live abroad (unless, of course, they’re on the lam!). I like the phrase, “journey toward a fulfilled life,” though I’d like to get a sense of what’s missing. I think it would be narrower if the message focused on the spiritual needs, since uprooting oneself can make those things more important.
10/10: In regards to the revised version, I, too, am an expat, and I totally understands what she means the second time around. Expats know exactly what “adjust to new cultures” and “create a vision for the future” means. Normally, we are very confused when we first arrive, and it takes, on average, 7 years to adjust. Otherwise, you quit and go back home, or never really become integrated. If you can help people adjust in less than 7 years, that is awesome.
10/10: This may be something that is culturally specific. I live in UK, and we have a large expat community in France, Spain, Portugal. Because of that, I knew exactly what you are referring to. It was crystal clear for me.
6/10: Though I love the revised version!! It’s much stronger, much clearer. That one, I’d give 8/10.
3/10: Not sure what you do and what they get (from the description), so a 3 from me.
5/10: This feels pretty vague to me, and somewhat generic. Other than specifically working with people who live somewhere else besides where they were born and raised, this sound like any other coach. What makes you stand out from them?
6/10: I think I understand, but even with the revised version, I’m still wondering if you help expats who have travelled with their families to a new place? The image obviously spells travel. Have they relocated for a specific reason? (This might just be my ignorance speaking).
7/10: The original felt too broadly magical, and the revised one too broadly practical. I am betting somewhere there is a happy medium.
5/10: I’m left guessing as to why this is a valuable service – I’m not an expat, though, so perhaps that is why it doesn’t connect with my heart! However, I’d hazard a guess, and say that it is about getting over homesickness, cultural differences and making the move to a different country a less painful transition emotionally. Am I right?
5.5/10: The audience is clear but the rest feels a little generic.
In your revised version “adjust to new cultures” seems really clear to me.
Paula Schnackenberg’s Reflections:
Thanks, Tad! Does this sound better? “I help expats and their families adjust to new cultures and create a vision for the future”.
The Revised Niche:
I help Expats and their families adjust to new cultures and create a vision for the future.