I guide women back to her natural self to ease anxiety around food, eating + her body through yoga, workshops, retreats + private sessions.
Niching Contest Participant Comments:
6/10: Or maybe you could alter it to: I guide women with anxiety… back to her authentic self, naturally.
7/10: Love the image and energy of this Susanne. I’m wondering if “natural self” is needed? Maybe something like “I guide women with uneasiness around food, eating and their bodies to… something… through yoga, workshops…”
6/10: a Natural Self feels vague to me. I had to read several times. “anxiety around food, eating + her body” its confusing.Great job you do by the way!
I love the use of the words “natural self” and I loved the picture with the free swishing hair in nature. “Guide” is a good word but “help guide” might be a little softer since the authority of the “natural self” is implied. Like others I’d suggest dropping the services and the use of “+” which interrupted the flow. I think Tad has given you a real gift to focus on the urgency of the problem you are trying to solve and being specific about it. I’d liked the focus on “food, eating and her body”. So a little more reworking and this can move up from the 6 I have it at now. Thanks for all you do.
7/10: I would add in more specific benefits that the woman gains from your amazing work Susanne – “guide women back to her natural self” might be rephrased as something like “help women feel comfortable, confident and calm in their bodies and minds”. I LOVE the photo – the movement in the hair communicates that something really dynamic is going to happen if a woman works with you. All the best.
8/10: I love the vibe of the picture! It gives a feeling of “natural self” and freedom. I would rephrase the words “anxiety around food, eating + her body”. Whats going to happen with her body when she will work with you? What is the problem with her body anyway (is she overweight)? It is a little bit confusing. Good job.
6/10: Love the picture. I agree with others that the grammar is distracting, and natural self is a bit vague. I love how clearly stated your techniques are though. I also think that your target audience is plenty clear. The women that need your services will see themselves in that description.
8/10: I love this picture. It feels freeing much like your message. I would change “guide back to her natural self” but that’s just because i feel it’s a little unclear..
4/10: The more of these I read, the better a sense I get that sometimes the offerings indicate something about the niche, but often, it’s not narrow enough. I feel that way about this one; who are these women? How do they describe themselves? Are they already in the yoga/natural foods world, or on their way in? Do they describe themselves as women who’ve lost their natural selves?
8/10: “Anxiety around food, eating, and her body” makes sense to me and speaks clearly to an audience of body dysmorphic, media-distorted women.
The grammar threw me off. You refer to women in the plural, but refer to “her” in the singular.
8/10: It’s pretty clear but I’m curious whether the women will recognize what they experience as anxiety. Would they call it that? May be sacrifice one or two of the last words to be more precise or ‘tangible’ on the the anxiety?
7/10: This feels so free, Susanne! Beautiful. Grammar note re: women/their vs woman/her. I do love the photo you chose — the earthiness plays into the natural self, and she (you?) are at ease and open! I did have to re-read the sentence a couple of times to understand what you were saying…the double-list structure got a little muddy for me!
5/10: I love the term ‘natural self’, and would want to know more specifics about the real struggle. (I’m not interested in ‘how’ you do your thing, more the ‘who’) Looking forward to reading your ‘re-do’ !
6/10: I like the focus, but the grammar and use of + dilutes it for me… sorry.
6/10: I like your message! The grammar is a little off – women is plural and her is singular. I’d also like to see your face. Tho the message is clear, The sentence itself is fairly awkwardly constructed, maybe there is a more succinct way to get at the meat of what you do?
7/10: But could easily be a 10 with a few minor changes in grammar and punctuation. The picture is stunning and goes very well with your message.
Susan Mueller’s Reflections:
Thank you. This is very helpful, I will work to create a more fluid sentence
The Revised Niche: