I teach students of riding personal awareness and body control. Horses are masters of body language. It’s essential to master yours.
Niching Contest Participant Comments:
9/10: Very clear that you are helping equestrians to master their body language/movements.
7/10: Too much is not said about the result. I teach students of riding to master their body language so that the horse understands and performs automatically.
4/10: Sorry, I didn’t get this at all until I read the url at the end. Photo of swimming, “. . . students of riding personal awareness . . .” Say what? Master my horse? I was lost until I read the name of the website. Oh! Perhaps “I teach personal awareness and body control to horse riding students . . .” Just a suggestion
I love the picture because it gives me an idea about what you do. I found the language “students of riding body awareness” awkward, as in, I had to read it twice to get it. Is there a specific reason you didn’t say riding students or even equestrians or horsemen and horsewomen?
6/10: I can’t put my finger on what doesn’t flow here for me, maybe it is the why that is missing? Perhaps connecting the thought that horses are masters of their body language and to be masters of their would be a benefit more directly would tell me more directly. I had to read this a few times to comprehend it. I am not sure I am making sense now! I absolutely love the visual – the picture is awesome and connects things nicely.
10/10: I found this very compelling – especially the last two lines which made me go back and reread the first line. If “students of riding” is what horseback riders call themselves then I would give this a 10. Otherwise this is an area to take a look at. Your service got me excited that there would be a way to easily find an innate horse/rider connection through body language. I think “teach” is fine if that’s what you do but since you are referring to “coaches” in some of your comments then perhaps “coach” is a better word for “teach”. If you use the word “coach” perhaps you don’t have to refer to helping “coaches” because perhaps everyone can consider themselves broadly to be a lifetime “student” of riding and that way you stay under the 140 character limit. I liked the photo and the website name for a suggestion of what you do. I notice some polarity of scores for you – mid range or high. It might be useful to remember that what needs to resonate most is whether your wording appeals to your ideal client. But wouldn’t it be great if there was a way to improve it even though I gave it a 10. Best of luck!
8/10: “Students of riding” made me stumble, but by the end I recognized horseback riders. Is “students of riding” a term they use for themselves? That’s an important question to address in coming up with a niche. Otherwise, it’s clear what you do.
I understood this, and would be compelled by the last two lines if i were a horse rider.
6/10: Is that body awareness in the riding arena on a horse? Or body awareness in general life? I would take it to mean the former, that you work with people on horses but I’m a bit unsure so for me it’s a 6. Another question, because I’m a rider, and interested. Are you teaching people communication with people or people how to communicate with their horse?
10/10: It is very clear to me what you do, and who it’s for.
10/10: Cool service. Clear picture helps me figure out what you might have me doing. Being picky, the only thing to improve it would be the benefit – …. essential to master yours for happy horse/rider relationships” Realise this will put you over the 140 characters though!
6/10: I had to read it a couple of times to make sense of what yours was about, though I’m totally unclear on what aquatics have to do with horses and riding, but that could be just because I’ve never heard of such a thing. That in mind, there may be a lot of people like me and wouldn’t know what to make of this either…just a thought.
7/10: for the original, but 9/10 for the revised version. The why felt much clearer in the second go round. I’m finding “students of riding” awkward. Maybe “riding students”? to avoid miscommunication.
7/10: It feels like there are two sections, and one doesn’t easily flow into the other, and I think it would work better if you adjust last 2 lines, also help is usually better than teach… sounds more supportive.
7/10: I’m wondering about “students of riding”. It seems awkward phrasing, but I’m wondering if that’s a term used in that niche. Very interesting service and definitely a clear niche.
Trish Hyatt’s Reflections:
The Revised Niche:
I teach students of riding body awareness and control. Horses are masters of body language. You must master yours for clear communication